Human beings are hard-wired to conform. Back in the hunter-gatherer days you had to conform because if you didn’t you’d become a social outcast and that basically meant you spent a lot of time alone. No one would make friends with the guy or gal that had been relegated as unfit for the community for fear that they too would be tarnished with the same brush.
 
Even now, the more homogenous a society is, the more you feel the pressure to conform. I grew up within a homogenous culture back in Malawi. Everyone pretty much had the same core beliefs so if you thought differently you just kept it to yourself. You wouldn’t admit you were an atheist or gay for instance, you would just keep it to yourself.

Even then, some of my closest friends were gay but it was a secret that you kept sealed tight. As for not believing in a God, I had such strong views on the matter (I didn’t understand why you wouldn’t believe in God) that it took me about 7 years of living in Britain – a very Cosmopolitan country – to get my head around it being acceptable to be agnostic or simply not to believe. Anyway, I digress.

WHY DO WE CONFORM?

We conform because we want to be liked. That is the key reason.

We want to be part of a community. We want social approval. Our own self-worth and value tends to be so wrapped up in what people think of us.

WHY COULD IT BE BAD TO CONFORM?

Unfortunately, conforming is what keeps many people in wage slavery or stops them pursuing their dreams – we’re afraid to take massive action or even to take small risks because of what people might say.

Quitting a job to start a business is a massive risk and a couple of negative comments are enough to discourage most people from taking the chance to create something special.

WHAT YOU CAN DO TO GET RID OF THE FEAR OF DOING SOMETHING DIFFERENT

Stop caring what everyone thinks.

When someone gives you an opinion, you have no idea why they are offering that particular perspective.

• They may be basing it on their own fears and failures. 
• They may be jealous and not wanting you to succeed.
• They may care about you massively but be super conservative. 
• They might not be able to visualize what you can because they simply can’t get their head around your goals and plans.

Everyone sees life from a different point of view and everyone has different goals. Compromising your dreams based on other people’s opinions isn’t a good strategy for personal growth. Frequently, the people that will stop us are our very own parents; parents tend to be massively afraid of children breaking from societal norms.

Good examples of people who believed enough in their dreams to stop conforming.

Sara Blakely:

She is the founder of Spanx. In a Bloomberg Game Changers documentary I watched about her she revealed that she was so afraid of people thinking her idea was stupid that she told no one about it until it was already rolling. Now, she is the youngest ever female entrepreneur to build a billion-dollar company. She succeeded with real products when everyone else was going into tech. You have got to admire that.

Arunachalam Muruganantham:

He is a school dropout from a poor family in southern India and he completely revolutionised menstrual health for rural women in developing countries by inventing a simple machine for making cheap sanitary pads.

It took him years to get to the perfect design. People laughed at him and called him weird as he carried out research on menstrual periods and it all culminated in his wife leaving him because he had become a social pariah. The irony was he started on this entrepreneurial path to help his wife.

I have massive admiration for this guy.

I’m giving you just two examples here but I could give you many more. I could even talk about my own life and the mocking that I went through in high school but I chose to use third-party examples. I hope these people inspire you to take some risk, to stop conforming and to ultimately take the massive actions that will buy your financial freedom.

References:

The Indian sanitary pad revolutionary, BBC
How to fail your way to your first $1 billion, Entrepreneurs Institute

I had an amazing day yesterday. I came 3rd in, “Pitchfest”, a pitching competition with a very elite panel of judges: Dale Murray (CBE), Daniel Priestley, Marcus Ubl, Guy Rigby and Ash Lawrence. The day was hosted at the end of the 40-week ‘Key Person of Influence’ business coaching program run by Entrevo.

Now, I’ll be the first to admit that I was gunning for the top position but top 3 was a must so I’m glad I met my minimum goal. I’ve always lived by the mantra, shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you’ll still be among the stars. Ultimately, the winners won fair and square so I’m proud of them – both have become two of my best friends over the course of 40-week coaching program. The most important thing, however, was the lessons I learnt. There are 5 key lessons:

ONE: You Have Got To Be In It To Win It

I worked with a guy in investment banking who loved saying this, “You’ve Got To Be In It To Win It”, and it totally rang true on the day.

There were 40 people in my “class”; 25 people committed to take part in Pitchfest but on the day only 15 showed up. Of the 40 in my class only 2 or 3 had what I would call a genuinely good excuse for missing the day; for instance, two moved to far away lands – USA and Australia, respectively.

The rest in my opinion either didn’t believe they could win so they didn’t bother or weren’t prepared to put in the hard work required to make a 5-minute pitch and believe me, it was VERY hard work.

Frankly, I did fantasize about not bothering to put the work myself but I could never have lived with myself for paying for the programme and not seeing it through to the end.

Want to win? Then you’ve got to be “in it”, whatever it is, to win it.

TWO: Practice Makes Perfect

All the people that came out on top practiced their pitches endlessly:

• My buddy Sarah who came 2nd with 46 out of 50 points practiced live on Skype with me twice a week when we were coming up to “D-day”. She even had a day when she practiced at least a dozen times to different audiences – that kind of commitment is impressive; 
  
• Jutta the winner got 47 out of 50 points and she says she practiced for hours at a time when we got close to Pitchfest and even got some extra private coaching. She used to fly in from Germany for all the classes – never missed one; she is such a positive life force; 
  
• Last, but not least, I got 45 points out of 50, every single judge gave me a 9. Given I was pregnant I knew I would be busy with the baby all of December so I started practicing in October for a 20-January competition. I’m glad I did.
  

95% of those that didn’t show up are likely not to have practiced much at all. The fact that I had been practicing since October was one of the driving forces behind me preparing myself and my 5-week old bambino for the all-day event; you don’t work that hard and give up at the last hurdle.

More or less, the people that practiced the most won the day. Success takes a lot of practice.

THREE: Success Is So Much More Fun When You Share It

After peer-to-peer pitching the top 10 people were announced in no particular order; I was announced quite quickly and when they got to person 6 and my buddy hadn’t come up, my heart started sinking.

She was announced last and my heart leapt with joy because I realized we had spoken so much about how we would be top two that I would feel like life hadn’t been fair to her if she didn’t make top 10. Like I said to her as soon as they announced her, it would have spoilt my day.

Success is no fun when you don’t have a team to enjoy it with.

FOUR: Be Yourself

Personally, I think Jutta and Sarah were fantastic at being true to themselves and their brand. At the end of the day I think that played a lot in their top ranking. I think I could have been that little bit better by being myself a little more.

You will attract a lot more success if you remain genuine and true to your “brand”.

FIVE: Participation Gets You Noticed

If you make it to top 10 at Pitchfest, even if you don't win, you attracted people to your business.

There were 200 people in that room. I went to Pitchfest with 10 brochures hoping to get queries and I ran out within 20 minutes. So many people came up to me and all the other contestants to wish us congratulations as well as to discuss potential partnerships.

In summary, just go for it. Success takes time and A LOT of practice but if you shoot for the moon, even if you miss you’ll still be among the stars.

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A sense of urgency is something I didn’t think of as a skill or even anything worth highlighting as fundamental to growing a booming business until very recently.

My whole family has a great sense of urgency: mum, dad and my two little sisters. This blog was inspired during a moment of annoyance when, on one day, my dad and my little sister wanted things done for them and their emails all came through with a “do it now, please” kind of tone – being pregnant had a lot to do with my irritability.  

Anyhow, I paused and thought that this is why these guys, like me, get a lot more done in a day than the average person.

What Is A Sense Of Urgency?

A sense of urgency is that in-built impulse you get when something needs to be done and you feel it needs to be done now. This impulse makes you get up and take the action necessary to see the thing through to completion.

Not everything is urgent but two people will see the same task as having different urgencies. So, for example, I tend to hire graphic designers based in Asia and Eastern Europe even if they cost exactly the same as a designer in the west because they their sense of urgency matches my own.

If I order graphic design work on a Friday evening a contractor in Asia / Eastern Europe will generally start right away. I’ll see a draft or completed job before the weekend is over. A designer in the West will generally only start the work on Monday because they feel entitled to a weekend. Say what?

Me, I feel obliged to satisfy my fans and clients. I take time off to rest but if something needs to be done on a Saturday or Sunday those days are not excluded – I can and I will work on these days. Importantly, I generally enjoy the work regardless. 

Now, if you want to start and run your own business you’re likely going to either be running the show on your own in the initial days or have to drive and excite your small team into action. 

If you take constant action: wake up early, sleep late, produce content and are basically actively trying to get something completed it will eventually come together.

If you allow yourself too much rest and struggle to complete tasks or even to struggle start doing them, you’re not going anywhere fast. A sense of urgency is a must to enjoy business and life success.

Some people naturally have a greater sense of urgency than others. If you feel you’re lacking in get up and go, here are a few tips: 

• Set realistic goals with specific associated tasks to achieve those goals
• Set deadlines for your tasks and stick to them
• Offer yourself rewards if you meet deadlines
• Offer yourself punishments (other than not getting the reward) if you don’t meet the deadlines
• Find an accountability buddy that will hold you accountable to deadlines
• Hire a coach that will hold you accountable to deadlines
  

The Success Section of The Money Spot Program covers the above topics in great depth to ensure there are no obstacles in your way to success

I hope this helps you make your dreams come true. If you have any “sense of urgency stories”, please share them.